THINGS YOU WON'T HEAR IN A GARDENING PROGRAMME - Mock the Week Series 9 Episode 5 Preview - BBC Two

Dara O Briain and regulars Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons romp through another week's news with guests ...

This article is a summary of a YouTube video "THINGS YOU WON'T HEAR IN A GARDENING PROGRAMME - Mock the Week Series 9 Episode 5 Preview - BBC Two" by Blossom Flower Delivery

Key insights about video THINGS YOU WON'T HEAR IN A GARDENING PROGRAMME - Mock the Week Series 9 Episode 5 Preview - BBC Two

🌱 Be careful what you do with the shears - you might learn how to get rid of a body.

🌱 Someone has been sneaking into the allotment and putting topsoil on the ground.

🌱 Last year, I avoided digging up my garden by pretending to find a Roman coin.

🌱 Lawnmower expert Stumpy Jeff is ready to share his expertise, while others discuss their plants and garden pests.

🌱 Why grow flowers when you can steal them from a traffic black spot?

🌱 Don't be too quick to judge rabbits as garden pests - some can bring nothing but joy.

🌱 Watch out for a mole passing confidential information in the garden.

🌱 Ensure you have a nicely maintained garden with a hair rockery, a family statue, and a tree of knowledge.

🌱 Grow your grass long and comb it over if you suffer from Patsy grass, but remember to leave it for a few years before using it as a bathroom.

🌱 A wonderful water feature in the garden could be a small boy statue from Thailand that pees - it's good money!

Timestamped Summary

00:01 Here's a tip, be careful what you do with the shears.

00:08 That folks is how you get rid of a body.

00:22 Somebody has been sneaking into the allotment and putting topsoil on the ground.

00:34 Last year I couldn't be bothered to dig up my garden so I phoned up Time Team and told them I just found a Roman coin.

00:46 Now over to our lawnmower expert, Stumpy Jeff.

01:07 Why grow flowers like this when you can steal them from a traffic black spot?

01:22 Let me tell you, I've got a rampant rabbit and when it's in my garden it causes nothing but joy.

01:39 I've been having terrible trouble with a mole, he keeps on passing confidential information.

01:57 Next to that is the tree of knowledge, you will not eat from the tree of knowledge if you're low and suffers from Patsy grass.

02:04 Just grow it long on one side and comb it over and if you leave it for about four or five years it should be just the right height to piss behind it.

02:22 A garden, it's blocking my light, dark.

02:32 Here is a wonderful water feature like in Brussels, of a small boy pissing. This one's from Thailand and I paid him 20 pencil, he ain't lyin' is good money.

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Q&A

What tip does the speaker give for gardening?

Be careful what you do with the cheers.

What is the speaker's suggestion for getting rid of a body?

The speaker suggests getting rid of a body by following their previous tip.

What has someone been doing to the allotment?

Someone has been sneaking into the allotment and putting topsoil on the ground.

What did the speaker do instead of digging up their garden?

The speaker phoned up Time Team and told them they found a Roman coin.

What is the speaker going to do when they get home?

The speaker is going to plant their seeds because their wife is ovulating.

What does the speaker say about stealing flowers?

The speaker suggests stealing flowers from a traffic black spot instead of growing them.

What does the speaker say about rabbits in the garden?

The speaker says that having a "rampant rabbit" in their garden brings them joy.